Snow Angel by Sharon Maria Bidwell

Author:Sharon Maria Bidwell [Bidwell, Sharon Maria]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: M/M contemporary, Source: Fictionwise
ISBN: 9781596323711
Publisher: Loose ID
Published: 2006-12-01T00:00:00+00:00

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Chapter Nine

Taking a handful of popcorn, Jay risked a glance in Dean's direction. The man's gaze looked glued to the screen, but he couldn't tell how absorbed with the movie the big man actually was. Earlier, they'd eaten dinner in silence until Dean said, “We should have gone to my place and watched TV there."

Naturally, he meant the huge widescreen TV he owned. “If you mention the size, I'll accuse you of boasting.” That raised a grin, but Dean refused to look at him. Jay tried not to think about the equally large bed that dominated Dean's bedroom. He certainly didn't want to think about all the things Dean had done on it over the years with other people.

Something bothered the big man tonight, and although Jay could sense it, he couldn't understand it. He recalled Dean earlier, down on his knees, those big arms wrapped around him. He could hardly breathe and even imagined he heard a rib creak at one point, but he'd done nothing to make the larger man let go of him. The closest thing he could liken it to was angst, but that made no sense. Out of the two of them, he should be the one suffering anxiety.

To think, he finally had what he wanted and the only thing wrong with it was that it couldn't last. It couldn't go anywhere. Only he could get involved with a bi-curious friend who would treat him like shit without meaning any malice aforethought. He wanted to punch whoever invented that phrase.

Dean would leave him after some indeterminate time. Dean would leave him. He accepted that for he could see no alternative. Dean would take over his father's business, marry, have the requisite number of children and live happily ever after. Not to mention he would buy a dog, as well as a cat, because he was just soppy enough to do that. It always struck Jay as odd that others couldn't see it. Didn't they know what a big, stupid, soppy teddy bear Dean was? Oh, he was arrogant with it. Overconfident, bigheaded, condescending at times, conceited ... Jay sighed. The problem was Dean had reason to be. Well, maybe not so much the bigheaded or condescending part, but why shouldn't he be confident? As for conceited, the guy could take the word and beat Adonis over the head with it. Yeah. As if a guy like Dean could look in a mirror and not know he was handsome. It wasn't even conceit when you thought about it. Dean never referred to it. Other people mentioned his looks and he played up to it, but if they said nothing, he said nothing, or if he did, he meant it as teasing. Maybe Dean was a little oblivious to other people's feeling sometimes, but Jay now thought that maybe people wanted to see the wrong side of him. It was as though they needed to locate his flaws to see him as less than perfect. Dean wasn't perfect.

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